The Christ Experience

by William Lee Rand

Through hypnotic regression, one man intimately experiences the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ.

While living in Hawaii, I had a hypnosis and past life regression practice. A client came to me for treatment who complained of a pain in his side. He had been to medical doctors who could find no organic cause for the pain. I had no idea what the cause was so I simply hypnotized him and suggested that he go back to the original cause of the pain in his side.

It is important to be aware that my client was not reliving a past life as Christ nor was he a participant in the Crucifixion. The pain was apparently the result of a stigmata or kind of psychic bridge linking him to this event. Apparently it appears that under the right conditions anyone can experience the Crucifixion.

Because the client is psychic, he was able to give a detailed description of both the physical and the psychic events that took place. Incidentally, the pain in his side disappeared after the session.

The session was recorded and the following is the unedited transcript. This transcript appeared in edited form in the spring 1984 issue of Psychic Guide magazine.

RAND: You are now very deeply relaxed and in a moment I will count to 3, at 3 you will return in consciousness to the original cause of the pain that goes through your stomach to the other side of your body, the pain that you have described. You will return in consciousness to the original cause, you will have vivid impressions. When I count to 3 you will return in consciousness to the original cause of the pain that you pointed out, you will trust your mind completely, you will have vivid, accurate impressions of exactly what happened, of exactly what the original cause was, at 3 you will return, 1 - 2 - 3. What are you aware of, what do you see?

CLIENT: I see a hot street, very bright sun, I see it more out of the right side of my head then the left. I see a hot street and I can't, I can't feel totally in my body but it’s a street — oh I can't see very well because there is something in my eyes.

RAND: What is it?

CLIENT: (Crying) It's sweat and blood, I can’t see very well, my whole being hurts.

RAND: All right, just relax now.

CLIENT: (Crying) I am doing it again for everyone, I am trying to give it all away (Crying).

RAND: What’s happening?

CLIENT: (Crying) I am trying to save everyone, I am trying to take their confusion and pain on myself. I do it over and over again.

RAND: But do you really need to do that?

CLIENT That certainly is a good question.

RAND: Would you like to see this experience from a higher level without any pain?

CLIENT: Let's go through the feelings, I want to know that I did it because it's important to be done.

RAND: OK, you are receiving vivid impressions, what is happening.

CLIENT: I can hear voices, but I can't hear what they are saying, all my senses are muffled by utter exhaustion and my, there is so much energy running, my skin stings and there is something heavy on my back, I am struggling to pull it along and my whole body aches, and it is just like being in a sea of energy.

RAND: What kind of energy?

CLIENT: All different kinds, it’s like liquid light and other people calling and yelling and noise and smells, it's just ruckus. It’s really ruckus. It’s very confused but there is something about what I am doing that even though it's a great struggle and great pain, it’s taking all that energy like a harmonizing generator and just absorbing it all and harmonizing it, but it is a terrific strain on the physical being.

RAND: And who is actually doing this harmonizing?

CLIENT: Well, it is what I was told to do.

RAND: You are doing it?


RAND: And what do you do with these energies?

CLIENT: It's enough for them to enter my consciousness, all they have to do is enter my consciousness and they are absorbed and they are all pardoned and they are all given back. All I have to do is to be conscious of those energies and although the people who are producing them don't know it, that’s what’s happening, they just go back into - I will talk about it as the middle of my head or the middle of my being, because the heart is important too, it's like a nuclear reactor, it just atomizes every bit of it and turns it back into pure energy. It's like being a nuclear reactor, it’s like being the sun. Everything that falls into it is turned back into pure light and that’s the higher end of the drama that’s being acted out. The lower end looks like struggle, like pain and it has to look that way so that people have something to get their rocks off on, otherwise they won't let all the energy out and I won't be able to transform it properly, so I have to look as though they are really causing me enormous pain because what they need to do to get their own pain out is to cause someone else to have enormous pain.

RAND: I see — projecting out, yes.

CLIENT: So I play a drama on two levels, one is pain and the other is very, very cagey, being the son. I feel a little freed of the physical level, it feels a little lighter, see, I am moving more in my heart and my head and tile sunlight now, it feels like being partly born.

RAND: OK, lets move on down the street and see what happens next.

CLIENT: Well, now I am separating from that struggling creature. I am flying above him and he is still struggling and the whole scene, but I am flying above that. I am now an invisible center of light flying above the drama and it stinks - I mean it smells bad. All of that energy coming from all of those people is really rank. And that drama is acting itself out on the level of blood, sweat, and urine and hate and pain and body odor and garlic, unwashed clothes and believe it or not there are Roman centurions around (laughing) and they are an ugly lot.

RAND: Do you see any of them that stand out?

CLIENT: Ya, there is one that keeps getting big. I don't understand him.

RAND: Can you ask him questions and find out more about him?

CLIENT: Ya, he is going through some changes on this, it hurts him, he is not in this wholeheartedly, he is not sure what he is doing is the right thing. It is hard for him, he is caught in a terrific struggle about it inside. I can feel his pain and he would like to help. In fact, although he doesn't know it, his desire to help is helping. He’s got beauty in him. He is not closed like the rest of them. The rest of them are like cardboard cutouts and they are doing their thing. And he is bigger, he looks bigger because he is bigger. He really would like to do something to make the going of this drama go away, to resolve itself well. I can reach down and touch him and he is going to be conscious that something touched him. See, I just did it now and he has gone into, he has gone into a kind of Samadhi behind it. It is like he suddenly sees light and knows it is just a transparent drama and he is going through it feeling OK, just cause I touched him.

RAND: He knows about the higher levels?

Client: Ya, not consciously, but he has flipped into a sort of Samadhi state. It is incredible to be able to touch someone and just flip them into there. But it’s like he, oh, I see, but he doesn't know consciously, I just flip him into light and we will just go through this because it is just necessary. He knows, he knows.

RAND: All right what happens next, let's move on and see.

CLIENT: Ok, let me see. I am watching again and if I didn't know this from the Bible I would be suspicious, but somebody has taken the cross, only not just one person, but a whole group, several, only one is more under there, and my poor body is just stumbling along, stumbling along though the dust.

RAND: And they are carrying the cross?

CLIENT: Ya, they are dragging it along beside me to my right. The same side that the Roman soldiers are on.

RAND: And how do they react to that.

CLIENT: Oh, they don't care.

RAND: Ok, lets move along to the next important event.

CLIENT: Ok, well, we seem to be going up hill. The road is petering out, it is not a road anymore. It is just a trampled area. It is going up. It is harder to go up. I have to crawl. I am still watching from outside my body to some extent. There is a little of my essence inside my body but a lot of it is outside. I see him crawling a lot and that is part of the spectacle. It is like a big circus. It is like a circus - you know how people torture mice or rats and things just to see if the mouse or rat can get to the top of the hill. The other people who are more touched are pulling the cross along, and the Roman soldier is just, he is just completely transformed inside, he is almost joyous about it. But, he is not in touch with the pain, it doesn't mean anything to him anymore, he is in touch with the light. There is a company of people over to the right, all the people to the right seem to be, all the sympathetic people seem to be to be to the right. The other ones to the left are really frightened like cardboard figures. They can hardly get their rage out. That’s funny, isn't it, they seem to have found themselves on two different sides of the road. Anyway, there is a group over to the right that seems to have some good energy, blue energy and white energy and they are delirious, I mean sometimes they grieve and sometimes they are just uplifted. This is a hell of a drama! It’s really a lot better than what is written.

RAND: Than the Bible?

CLIENT: Ya, it is better than the Bible. There is more in it. In a way part of it is terribly debasing and the other part is terrifically uplifting, but I think somehow that from the place we came into this where I was carrying the cross, the agony of it ceased to be a problem for a while, I don’t know, maybe it comes back for a bit. It is like coming out the other end, it is very near the release, cause I am not inside the body any more, it’s like all around up there.

RAND: What else do you see around you when you are outside the body? Look around and tell what you see.

CLIENT: Well just slightly to the sides and above are the heavenly hosts, it is just incredible numbers of angels and caring spirits - caring spirit - that’s what angels are in case anyone didn't get that clear and they form themselves into angelic forms and the clouds are getting thicker and we are coming back to a point where the light shined through sometimes and other times there was turbulence, see that’s that same place. What’s happening is the beginning for some of warring with God some more and the end for others of warring with God. And it doesn't matter which way you go through that transition place, that partly cloudy turbulence. You can go through it coming out into the light or you can go through it going down into storm. And some of the people there are embedding themselves into the storm and others are — hum — the movie runs in two directions.

RAND: Is the Roman soldier still there?

CLIENT: Ya, he is laying down and crying. His heart is just terrifically moved. (crying) I am feeling in his heart. He doesn't know exactly but he knows he is never going to be the same. He feels as though he has been exploded from the inside and it feels wonderful, but he is just so moved he can't do anything, he is just laying there. I don't know if anybody ever wrote about him. See, even for those guys this experience is not unmoving and it is not unusual for one or two of them to go into very unusual states around these kinds of things and they don’t know what to do, so they just leave him laying there. It’s a passion. It’s a passion and the ones who are the least strong or the most - more evolved - fall into the passion and they become liberated by it and the others just don't understand it so they just go about their business. They don’t know what to do for anyone like that and they are just the machines, they are just the guys that do the work and their job is killing and their job is force and pushing people around and they do it. It’s gotten incredible, the energy at the top of the hill is really heavy. It’s like a terrific vertical pull of energy off the top of the hill, it’s like streams and columns and strokes of energy going straight up.

RAND: Are they different colors?

CLIENT: Ya, but mostly they are bluish gray and white, the white is very bright, the bluish gray is darker stuff. What it is like, I will explain it to you. It’s as though there is a magnetic field being set up between the earth and the sky right at that place and it is like anyone who is the least sensitive will feel as though their head is being pulled right off their body. They feel as if they are being elongated like an El Greco painting, long bodies. Long bodies moving around in a very almost unreal dance. Your head is so high above your feet that you are no longer conscious of moving the way a human being usually does, and it’s like acting out the drama in a totally painless and unreal space that’s very far out. If you have ever had the sense of quickly being much taller than you normally are than you know that almost all the pain disappears when that happens. It’s like you are in touch with the top and the bottom and everything in between is just like ribbons blowing in the wind. If you talk about it is as ribbons blowing in the wind it is very beautiful. The people who can't let go to the experience are working very hard to keep themselves compressed to a five foot height. Everyone else is being pulled out like spaghetti and acting everything out with long graceful fingers and long graceful hands. It is a whole continuum of two different existences and everyone’s perception registers everyone else as being normal. It is incredible. See, the people who don’t get taller still see the same people as the same height and the people who do get taller still see everyone else as the same height, yet there is a complete difference in terms of the subjective place of their consciousness. They are drawn out into great height to act out this drama, it's really beautiful - wow - it’s like we are all much taller.

RAND: Is this increased height within the psychic body and can you estimate the height?

CLIENT: Ya, it is the psychic body that is stretched out, it goes way up into the sky, past the clouds. Some of those people there have their heads in the clouds. That's where the script comes from. They just have themselves directly plugged into the place where the script is written and so it is effortless to act it out. It’s a terrifically stretching field that has got created in order that those people, all of us can go through this experience with the knowledge that it is not just an everyday event. And everyone partakes of it to their own capability. How open they are to the true God. And those who are open to an image or a conditional idea are shorter, that’s all. And no one can see that it is going on but it is going on. Several levels of reality all in the same place. So we have a lot of choices about what level to stay with this on - see.

RAND: Well lets allow the subconscious mind to direct your attention to the level that would be the most valuable for you to be aware of and lets proceed on to the next valuable experience.

CLIENT: Ok, ye, see, we have to come basic to the blood and the hands - got to come back to the blood and the hands - Oh that’s complex. The nails still hurt very much, the bone in the middle of the right hand is broken, the left.

RAND: How did that happen?

CLIENT: The nail, it went right through the bone. The other hand, it went through between the bones of the middle finger and the third finger so that didn’t hurt much at all, it etches. But the important thing is the blood. It is important because it is terrifically impressive to the people who are watching. To see blood coming out of the body. It is really deep, it is really hard to talk about it. Red is the color of their anger. It’s like they can really see the color of their anger and it is startling to them. It is really startling to them. More than the feet is the hands because I reached out and touched with the hands. And now they see something completely else happening and it’s breaking a lot of hearts A lot of the people who thought they could go through this with their hearts closed are falling down and sobbing. It has just broken right through their hearts to see that. Not everyone, but a lot are being (sobbing) really torn asunder in their insides. As they fall I tell them it's ok, it's ok. They fall on their knees and they fall down and they pray. Some of them just fall and swoon - they just faint. This drama comes in waves.

RAND: What kind of waves.

CLIENT: Waves of intensity of passion. It’s like when the nails go in the hands and I think the cross goes up, it’s a new wave of intensity and passion and more people fall and give up their pain and give up their hate and their hearts are torn right open. They have to go through a lot to live with that, it’s not necessarily permanent, but it puts them in a different place for sure. The blood in the hands is very important. People touch it, they come up and touch the blood in the hands. I can't tell if the cross is up yet or not. There is so much passion and energy involved in this scene that it is not easy to tell what part of the progress of the thing you are really in because consciousness is so, something happens to consciousness here, it becomes so fluid that you can go back and forth between parts of the experience and it is always now. So people have seen the blood when the cross was up and yet they can go back to when the cross was down and touch the blood. There are even some people when the cross is up that are trying — yes, there some people that are trying to drink it! They come under the cross with their mouths open and try to drink it. They are in a real frenzy, almost bestial. This is slightly different from those other people see. Touching it with respect or drinking it in a frenzy. There are people who are doing that. They are really in agonies.

RAND: So people are going into ecstasy and others are -

CLIENT: Ya, there is really no dividing lines, you see. Some people are in ecstasy, hearts opening, some people are crying, some people feeling cursed, some people in frenzies, some people in dancing ecstasies, it is really a continuum. All kinds of ecstatic behavior. All the way down to people who are sort of like rocks or stones, who are the Romans and some of the other people who are very efficiently remaining closed to it like toads, not much moves them. Although it is a little freaky, if you look into those people as I can see into them, see, they are a little freaked doing what they are doing and they would like to get the hell out of there as fast as they could, only they know the drama is just a little too big to leave right at the moment cause they have to see that it is finished, otherwise they will be, they will have tough times when they get back, so they have yet to stay. Only it's more than their frail little consciousnesses can handle very easily. They don't like it. It is heavy, anyway it's cooling down now. It’s like there are two others, really, what do those signify. There is some reason that there are two others there.

RAND: How are they positioned?

CLIENT: To the sides, one to either side, slightly rounded.

RAND: Were they already there?

CLIENT: I thought they were there when mine went up. Ya, I had the feeling they were up there before I got there. And they are just like. Oh, they are the Yin and Yang of my lower being. If you went down from the light where I can be to the body you are still in the body, the one body, but to go below that then you get down to the two thieves, and the reason that there are two thieves is that at lower levels it looks as though the Yin and Yang steal from each other, only they don’t. You see, that’s the illusion. That’s why there are thieves is because in the misunderstanding of the negative and positive, we think that they are stealing from each other only they are not and so at the lower end of the drama, it’s played out very truthfully. This is what it looks like and it’s only when you get to the one at the center that you know what it looks like. Those guys represent the thieving aspects of negative and positive as seen from below, but when seen from above they only become two aspects of the one. That’s why my cross is a bit higher. I suddenly feel kind of wasted.

RAND: Kind of what?

CLIENT: Wasted. Ah, let me live with that for a second. The energy is running out of my body. It is failing, see it can’t go on like this for long. Oh, I have to give it up for a while. I don’t mean we have to stop the session. I mean something’s going on where I have to step out of that body and shed it for a while. I have to do that otherwise I will lose my perspective and it is very important for me to keep my perspective.

RAND: Are you talking about part of the drama?

CLIENT: Ya, this is the moment at which, Ha the people below hear me say “Father, why have you deserted me” and the people who are on my level hear me say “Into thy hands I commit myself” and that’s where he parts. I start to come free and I float up out of that and I am just pretty much only a set of chakras and a body that is just outlined in light, the legs are still a little heavy, and the back.

RAND: And what is happening around you?

CLIENT: (crying) The angels are reaching for me and carrying me up. Such love (crying). I am being carried up to the light (crying). It is just a little thin string going down my back connecting me with that body and I am poised in motionless space in the middle of the air not going up and not going down and nothing is moving. There is no movement. It is like the universe has come to an absolute standstill.

RAND: You mean from an energy standpoint?

CLIENT: Ya, like a still picture. I am up above the body, a little connected to it through the bottom of the spine, but I am way above it. The angels are still holding me. God is still up there as the light, everyone is down below, the clouds are still there, it’s darkish and nothing is moving. That’s surprising.

RAND: Does that last for some time?

CLIENT: It lasts until everyone gets it clear in themselves what the next step is. We didn’t know that did we. We didn't know that the universe could stop until the plan was disseminated. See, that’s it, the light is disseminating the information of the plan. It’s not moving energy like we think of it. It’s just like everything has to decide what direction to go in and it all stops until that decision fully seeps through and that’s the wrong word because it implies motion, until the whole of the consciousness is saturated with the knowledge. Now something is moving inside. Oh, Oh, I am coming out of that, oh, OOOMMMMMM. The M on the end of the OM is the physical level, we are down toward that. It’s the O, the ecstatic O that we are moving into here. The most healing sound is O. The more you say O the closer you get to the light. It is the elevator. That’s how the elevator works. O - O - O - O is the sound of respect, of assimilation, of ecstasy, of light, of taking in of God, of moving toward God. O, it’s the sound of being truly impressed. If there is anything that’s impressive it’s GOD. When you say O it means you have truly accepted the impression. O, and you move higher. O, and when you get higher, when you get closer to the light, that’s all you hear. There is a whole realm, a whole dimension, no, a whole depth around the light that is only O. Only it’s being sung, it’s the heavenly choir, O - O - O - O - O... it’s beautiful because the whole drama back there is going off my back, it’s like a postage stamp back there, O - O - O - O. It’s not a sin to be alive in the body, but beyond a certain point it's going to hurt. O - O - O - O.... We keep seeing how well we can harmonize the lowest level with the highest, but harmony always implies tension. O - O - O - O... You see, I am being caressed from my head down now. It’s working it’s way down my head, down my neck and down my shoulders. In the Psalms where it says “my cup runnith over”, “thou anointest my head with oil” is not a real good image, but it is the right one. The cup running over is the top, it’s the abundance of the Spirit and it goes down from the top and runs down the whole outside of you and the whole inside of you, and the way to turn on the tap is 0. Are you doing ok?

RAND: I am fine, we have plenty of time.

CLIENT: I love you Bill, I love you Bill.

RAND: Yes, I feel your love.

CLIENT: I just want you to know that. O - O - O - O - O - O... anyway, what I am being told is that harmony is moving toward the light and disharmony is moving away from the light, but that as long as there is movement there will be harmony and disharmony and that’s where we get our pain, but you already know that stuff, so that’s not very strange, but the message I am getting from the light which is at the top of me and seeping down all over the outside and the inside is that that’s the whole shot. The more dense you want things to become the more you invest in disharmony and the more rarified and fine you want things to become the more you invest in simple harmony. That’s why the music of the new age goes back to simple harmonies. It is a restatement and a revisitation by this level. O - O - O - O - O... Now I have something to understand about the rest of this. Something is telling me what we have to do about the rest of this. Cause the play is not over yet, so I will be with this for a second and see if I can get it because we still have to get to the lily. The lily we have to get to. The lily that grows inside of all of us is the Easter lily and that’s no accident. The lily is symbolic, for some reason, of death and also of rebirth Its bulb remains in many layers, it eats dung and transforms it into a pristine white flower. And it does it over and over and over again. The symbol of the many layers of a consciousness of a being and the symbolism of the perennial birth and death and birth and death of the flower, but the continual life of the bulb is what that’s all about. All flowers and all plants which grow from a bulb are extremely holy. Garlic, onions, chives, daffodils. All have a deep mystical holiness as much as possible because they reinstate the truth of our own being. Isn't that beautiful. Ok, now we know what needs to be stated then. All we have to do is fill in the rest of the drama. Ok, I am coming down see. I am coming back down because the rest of it. The morbidity has to be gone through. It is why in paintings of the crucifixion, later the body is greenish white, is because of the morbidity, but we can’t avoid that. Ok, so what we are doing is we are saying ok to the Father into the terribly pathetic, there is a word, a word which I can’t get which means — weight, a word which means beaten and destroyed and what is the word Bill, when a face is so smashed that you can't see it anymore and can't make it out.

RAND: Disfigured?

CLIENT: Almost like that except when they say they found the body somewhere and it was so something that we couldn't identify it. Anyway we are getting off the feeling there. Let me go back now, I came out of that space ok. Well it’s really failing, it cannot go on supporting itself as one living organism. It’s appropriate and I see that I need to look out around now at what’s going on. People have fallen asleep and are dreaming incredible dreams all around. Almost everyone has fallen asleep. It was so much that they have all fallen asleep.

RAND: Is it night time?

CLIENT: No, but it’s dark, it’s not night time, but it’s as though everyone has been struck into a deep deep sleep and they have all fallen down and they are just laying there in all kinds of positions.

RAND: Are the soldiers there too?

CLIENT: Ya, everyone, all asleep. That’s funny because they are suppose to be gambling for my clothes or something but they are not. They are all asleep. Some are sleeping on some of my stuff, but they are all asleep and that’s the right one. Later they fight over things, but I don’t think they gamble. Anyway, ok, now, see what I am doing is I am in this body, but I am expanded beyond it and I need to keep track of what’s going on in the drama cause I have to act the rest of it out. All right, so it is greenish being in this body, it feels like corruption, but it’s all right. Ok, lets see, we are approaching something about. Ya, there are people who are waking up and crawling away. They are not walking they are crawling away. This is so heavy for them that they get down the hill somehow. Some of them are vomiting, some are crying, some are very frightened. They are all delirious in one sense or another. But some of them are coming awake and there is something about that spear. Can you help me get a clean image of what happens with that spear, because I am a little tired of it cause it’s the end.

RAND: Sure, just relax, and let go. Allow yourself to go deeper and deeper and deeper. Just relax and allow yourself to go deeper and deeper and deeper into relaxation and peace. Very deeply relaxed in every way. You are very deeply relaxed. In a moment I will count to 3 and at 3 you will have accurate vivid imagery about what happened with the spear, you will understand what it means and your information and impressions will be accurate. At 3 you will have accurate, vivid impressions about what happened with the spear and they will easily come into your mind without any difficulty. They will easily come into your mind because you are so deeply relaxed. 1, 2, 3. Allow the impressions to flow into your mind. What happened?

CLIENT: Ah, it’s in there, ah, mercy, ah, ah, oh, it’s more than that though. It gets moved around. The soldier on the other end wants it over. He moves it around and in there, ah, ah, ah.

RAND: What happened?

CLIENT: It’s withdrawn and there is blood, ah, ah.

RAND: What is that all about?

CLIENT: It’s death, is death (sigh).

RAND: Did you die at that time?

CLIENT: I am dying, it’s not instantaneous. Death is not instantaneous. It’s very clear, death is not instantaneous. There is energy seeping out from all over the place, it just gets limper and limper. I am staying with the physical body now. I am not particularly concerned about what happens with the spirit at the moment. Death is not instant. I am watching the integrity of the physical body spinning down and down and all the little cells and organisms reclaiming their own independent identities and starting to go off in their own directions. Some can live without the support system of the whole body and some can’t live without the support system of the whole body. The bigger more liquid cells can’t. They will start to perforate, the liquids will run out, they will not function as cells anymore. Those things closer to viruses will continue to live. They can reassume their own individual identities without the physical support system, and so wherever the body reposes they can just fall back into the earth. Oh, that’s part of what creation is about. It’s a way of reducing karma, by leaving fewer cells and things around that have any memory of having been in the body. It releases the soul faster. As long as those viruses and proteins and cells have memory of having been in the body, then there is still some of the essence still living around them that cares for them and loves them. That’s another vehicle for karma. If at some later time they spring up through the food chain and become part of another body then a little bit of the karma of the other body comes in. So that is a whole other level to karma. It is biochemical and it’s real, it’s very real. It’s much more diffuse then what we think of as karma. It is much more complicated and long lasting than what we think of as karma, but it’s there, it’s just another level. So anyway what I was experiencing was the release of those parts of the body that need the support system of the other parts of the body to survive. Those parts decompose and become pure chemical again. Now after that happens. Lets see now, there is a question here. The question here. Wait, let me try to get this cause we are entering a very pastoral place. It’s a very beautiful soft place. Many levels can be seen here, let me tune into the light and see what I get about what we should go through, O - O - O - O - O. It looks like two things. One being on a spiritual level, the transformation to becoming the lily and on the physical level an only partial understanding about what to do with the body. On one level they know that the Divine level can do anything with the body, but they are not conscious about that so they put it in a tome. The thing that causes them to put spices and the embalming in is the foggy recognition of the idea that the body may be used more, but the reason they put it in the ground is that the other part of them being animal feels that that’s where it has got to go back to. So they leave both possibilities open. That’s the thing. The different layers of the mind perceive different needs so they do the thing with it that makes the realization of both possibilities possible. So the lily lives in the dark, its life is in the dark because the bulb is in the dark. Well super energy becomes invested in that body because the final stroke of the drama is revivification. There are two probable directions for this, I suspect it went both ways. One is that the body was stolen and done away with and that that which I used to confirm my continued existence is not really the body but an image of it that I produce. The other is the revivification of the physical body and using that for a while as the transformation image and the reabsorption of all of it back into spirit. Lets see the left hand path means that the body is taken away and reburied. The right hand path means that it is revivified. That’s why the left side of the body is dark and the right light. The left side is earthy and the right side is mental, God that’s a dilemma, maybe it’s an existential dilemma, which can I do, can I do both? O - O - O - O - O... Ya, oh, I see, ye, both can be done. The redemption of the physical body and the transformation into spirit and the redemption of the whole earth and the body that gets buried in the earth and the whole what we call reality plane and the transformation of that back into spirit is basically the same thing. If you are together, if you are really in your center, then you simply redeem the whole plane. What it says about this experience is that the image of Christ attempts to redeem the whole plane, but does not redeem the whole plane yet. That’s why two different, two different paths are taken. It’s always necessary as long as we want to maintain this level of existence and this universe to take two different paths and not to be able to see how they both can be taken. We always do that and that’s how we torture ourselves. Decision is the problem and actually there isn’t any need to decide, but decision is one of the main pilfers on which this universe rests, the decision either - or, the polar universe. In order to play in this universe, God says I will play with decision, and there by generates everything, only it is as much of an illusion as everything else. So that’s ok. I’ve got to figure out what to do about this for my life. That’s where we have come to, the crux now. I’ve got to find out what to do about this. I would like somehow to resolve this so that I (client) can have some peace and less pain and be more open to the Father and be more open to all the energies and to let go and just stop fighting it. I need to know where to be in myself to let go of the pain. How to pray. I wonder if that’s ever possible.

RAND: Would you like me to guide you into that?

CLIENT: Sure if you can get a perspective on it.

RAND: All right, just relax and let go completely, Just let go completely and go deeper and deeper etc. (moves subject into Higher Self level) — a complete understanding will come to you now about the personal meaning of these experiences.

CLIENT: It’s going to take a minute to get this.


CLIENT: He needs to rest a little peacefully because he has kept himself active at a fever pitch in the quest of the Father. There has been a lot of pain and tension because he doesn’t understand and has been very suspicious of wrong paths.

RAND: How does that effect him.

CLIENT: He doesn’t want to do it through anyone else’s experience. But is also fearful of doing it through his own experience, this creates tension. I need to accept it all and know that it is all my experience. Everything that comes my way is my experience. I need to accept that. Selfish people are hard for me to accept. Perhaps I can’t accept my own selfishness. I am a little freaked by my own selfishness. I am afraid I will close down, but fighting it causes me to close down more.

RAND: Where does selfishness come from?

CLIENT: Many levels. It is the attempt to absorb into ourselves individual things rather than accepting everything. When this doesn’t work we try harder and harder and that’s what we call selfishness. That which we have and hold is ours and that which we don’t have and hold is also ours - if we accept this idea then we will not be selfish.

RAND: What is the most valuable lesson you received from experiencing the Crucifixion of Christ?

CLIENT: To become aware of the many, many levels of existence and how those levels interact in playing out drama in life. How all drama is really the same. How I am part of all of those levels. Nothing is ever lost. Everything is gained for the enrichment of the Father, the Light. Both the messenger, the message and the receiver are the same. It is the dance.

RAND: What other valuable lessons are there?

CLIENT: Others can tune into this Christ experience. It is not exclusive to Christ. It is possible that anyone and everyone could have this experience if they can open to it. For me it is to accept the fullness of my own being rather than live on the edge of a disclaimer. Stop saying this could be true, but we would rather not accept it cause we don’t want to make anyone else feel that they are out in the cold. We have got to be able to allow the God Self within to say it doesn’t matter, it’s just true, shine the light, it is just true, we are God.

RAND: Would you like to come back now?

CLIENT: I think so. I feel that has really been enough.

RAND: (Slowly brings him back to present time and awakens him)